Palisades (tweaked again)
A sonnet to add to a series in my travel journel...I'm wondering if it is considered acceptable to use the sonnet form as such?PalisadesKentucky's grand primeval palisades,like stately palace walls,...
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I find it acceptable But L 14 needs polish. Wrong meter, too many syllables (skip natural perhaps?) Is this like Kentucky? I thought, whisky, tobacco and horses, turtles were not included in the...
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first, Sue--it's fine by me to travellog in sonnet form, & lots of poets have done so. Even though she lives in Paris, I sometimes find Marilyn Hacker's sonnets read like tourist drivebys. The...
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Hi there Willi...Thanks for pointing out the rapids area (too many sylls in L14)I imagine that there aren't many posting here familiar with a Kentuckian accent. It's the tow er ing that's throwing the...
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Wow! thanks Mike for sharing your helpful insight. I'm learning so much from you and a few others who have offered their guidance and encouragement on my various attempts at sonnetry.I appreciate your...
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I like this. Some wonderful lines (the second stanza, especially), and overall a great visual in words.If I have one caveat, it's with "gliding by" over currents, which my Rocky Mountains rivers...
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Hey Sue:Very picturesque and lyrical. A refeshing change from the source of my writing at the moment. Favour S2 for its metre and imagery.Thanks for inspiring such instructive critiques...the praxis...
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Hey Sue,Some great imagery here. I think the suggestion Sonnet CLV had improves the flow of L14. I feel the transition you make in lines 7 & 8 could be worth looking at again. Your imagery and...
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Nice one, Sue. Natural is an iffy word to use at a crucial juncture, though. I hope you'll consider CLV's suggestion.A travel sonnet thread might be a fun way for SC to acknowledge the changing of the...
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Greetings and thanks, Sonnet. I'm very pleased to see this pass muster with you. Quote:One never glides over rapidsI'm too inexperienced for white water. In this particular portion of the Kentucky...
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Fran, Daniel and Mary...Thanks ya'll, for letting me know you enjoyed and for re-enforcing CLV's suggestion for L14.Daniel, I will give another look at L7&8. I'm not sure if I get what you mean,...
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Hi Sue,I do think sonnetry works well as a travelogue, partly it's to do with the length I think. They are postcard sized poems, 14 lines and you cannot write outside the space.You have chosen to...
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Sue,I'm afraid I have problems with a travelogue sonnet, because a straight description of a scene seems to me to conflict with the thing that I think characterises the sonnet - the argument and its...
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Hi Alan...I truly appreciate your thoughtful comments on this and am pleased that you enjoyed. I like that you see it as I intended...a word painting, so to speak.Take care,Sue******************"To...
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Hello Maz...nice to see you again.It's kind of you to take the time to read and offer your opinions on this as a sonnet.Much of what you express in your comments are reasons I wondered about this...
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